*shadow*

ok so it's august 1st tomorrow, yay new month! ok so basically i've been waiting 2 years to finish high school so that i could leave for college just so i can come back skinny. i was never able to restrict as much as i wanted because in high school i danced at least 3 hours a day and i tended to get the shakes so yeah, now that i don't dance anymore I am more than ready to become the gorgeous, strong person i've been striving for. i even picked a new name for the new me like the girl in the best little girl in the world, but mine is adrienne, it's the french for adrian. and yes i know this seems a bit silly and childish, but i'm looking to chanage not only my appearance but the way people see me so i figured i needed a new persona, so adrienne is born. now my plan for tomorrow is great because i'm working 9-2:30 so i'm going to leave early for work and get a big starbucks so i'll have caffeine to keep me awake. then when i leave work, i work at a target with a starbucks in it, i'll get another starbucks to tide me over for the rest of the day and drink lots and lots of water so i'll be full. these are my stats
height: 5'6"
CW: 130
HWL138
LW:116
goal for the day i move: 126 because i will have dropped from a bmi of 21.3 to a bmi of 20.3 over the summer
goal for thanksgiving break: 120
goal for christmas break: fit in a size 4, whatever weight that is

ok so i have no idea how many calories i've eaten since i got to orientation because i've had to eat out for EVERY meal! But, I have managed to eat healthy things for every meal except one (cheese enchiladas). This is good because I've been on my own pretty much the whole time and usually I only do good about barely eating when I'm around other people, weird I know lol. Anyway, I highly doubt I've been strictly adhering to 800 cals a day but I should definitely be at no more than 1000 and I've had to do a TON of walking outdoors (I like in Texas so saying it's hot and humid doesn't even come close). So I'm hoping to have lost 2 lbs by the end of this coming weekend. Oh and I now have a concrete date for when I need to wow everyone with my weight loss when I go back to teach my old drill team one of their dances for this year, July 18th! I WILL lost a minimum of 5, preferably 8 pounds! Unfortunately that's the best I can do since I have to go on vacation and eat normally for an entire week and I have work all the time so I can't restrict too terribly much.

ok so i did really bad today, i binged on a mini bagel and a gigantic bacon double cheeseburger from wendy's and then i tried to go running and i ran up and back down every street in my neighborhood until i ran out of streets but i feel like i barely burned any calories because i normally run 6 miles at the gym but i couldn't make myself go to the gym because i will get on the scales and i'm trying not to weigh myself until next weekend.

in other news, all my friends are at a party at one of my friends' house and i wasn't invited and my boyfriend is back in austin where he lives. but i'm leaving tomorrow for austin and staying there with my roommate for next year at my boyfriend's apartment for college orientation for 4 days!

i can't wait for college because i really need a fresh start, i want to meet all new people and make all new friends and only keep like 3 of my old friends. the only problem is that my boyfriend has already been in college for a year and he still hangs out with all of his old friends and he's going to want me to keep hanging out with them too... and i really don't want to. they don't understand me at all and all they ever do is talk shit about everyone!

so i'm getting increasingly frustrated with this lack of progress. i've literally jogging 6+ miles a day and i'm currently on the 900 cycle and i'm staying the exact same! so i've decided not to weigh myself until the end of each cycle. so since it's almost the end of the 900 cycle, i'm not weighing myself until I get back from orientation, which is in 1 week, because i won't have access to a scale at the end of the 800 cycle.... blah

so it's been a week since my last pictures...a not so wonderful week thanks to graduation and meals with my boyfriend i've only lost 1.2 pounds bleh....

baaaaad past couple of days.... tomorrow i will NOT mess up!

oh how i love gyms.

i just got back from mine and while i was there i did cardio for a little over an hour and burned 700 cals so yay!

oh and i'm feeling absolutely ravenous as i have for the past few nights but i'm beginning to love it

so i'm going to take pictures at least every week if not every cycle of my new regiment. I got off to a late start this week but I finally took some. I hope to take all of my pictures in the same outfit so you'll really be able to tell the difference (if there is one lol)
June 4

wow i haven't posted to my journal in FOREVER!
Anyway, so school ends in 2 days freakin sweet! so i started this new plan for june, i'm doing 1000 cals for 10 days, then 900 for 4, then 800 for 4, then 700 for 4, then 600 for 4, and finally 500 for 4. i used to be ana, then mia for 2 years so i haven't restricted hardcore in a while but i'm determined to stick to this plan for all of june. hopefully if i do it right and exercise like mad i'll lose 10 pounds this month. i've been focusing on maintaining literally all year and when i come back to teach my old dance team a dance i want them to be amazed at how different i look. for anyone who's read wasted its kinda like marya's determination to go off to boarding school and return thin. i want to come back and for everyone to say how little i look, the whole team is a bit obsessed with weight lol